A Greek Tragedy: The EU at Colonus

A Greek Tragedy: The EU at Colonus Posted: 14 May 2012 08:10 AM PDT http://pjmedia.com/barryrubin/2012/05/14/a-greek-tragedy-the-eu-at-colonus/ OEDIPUS: "I will be mute, and thou shalt guide my steps Into the covert from the public road, Till I have learned their drift. A prudent man Will ever shape his course by what he learns." --Sophocles, “Oedipus at Colonus” By Barry Rubin Greek Chorus: We have had a living standard high indeed Though we could not afford that stuff at all, Now we demand that you for all this pay Or else the entire Euro’s going to fall! EU: Oh, I have been blind for all too long Sending to you all that cash you sought, And now in a crisis deep and grave I’m able to comprehend all you have wrought! Germany: Ach! What more can I do or say? True, I was once the aggressor cruel and brutal, Yet does that mean I must always pay and pay, For your entitlements, bureaucracy, vacations long? Greek Chorus: Yes, it does indeed! And in my hand I hold a knife so sharp That will be plunged first into your currency And then into my own breast! We’ve just had elections you know And communists and fascists now empowered So set ye not conditions on the cash Or to you all we will give quite a bash! EU: True it is that I once had such dreams All in harmony under a Brussels’ elite Of happy family from Atlantic to the Urals, Now it’s all just Cerberus’ leavings at my feet! Germany: Now let me get this straight. You want us to give you money without end And no conditions either put on it So you can just go on and spend and spend? Greek Chorus: Yes that about sums it up. Hey, Zeus can you do something bold To pull our spanakopita out of the fire? Zeus (descending from heaven on a fiery chariot) Well, warlike Ares is in the Middle East quite busy While Athena full-time must hold press conferences to deny That Obama is the embodiment of her wisdom. And Mercury made bad investments in Internet start-ups. EU: Oh, glorious welfare state! I thought you could go on forever and never bend, Money pouring out and votes forever in, Without a thought to the production end! Zeus: But now the limit has been clearly reached And looting all the rich—or Germans--is no solution. Greek Chorus (breaking in) then revolution! Zeus (continues): While bureaucrats and rulers will not be impeached By their own hand, thus distress spreads throughout the entire land. Oh, we are in a pickle, what can we do In order to save the EU? France’s New President: Oh, it is all so simple As clear as Aphrodite’s dimple! Just raise the taxes on the rich and Put no limit on immigration. Higher wages and forbid firing Keep vacations long, the work-week short And touch no hair on any bureaucrat’s head Don’t worry and drink lots of wine instead! Germany: Gott im himmel, no! From me then all the funds will flow? France, Greek Chorus, Spain, Portugal, etc: Yes, indeed! So with the bail-outs let’s proceed! Zeus: This cannot end well I must SMS Pluto right away To open up more real estate in Hell! [All exit]